I am a student majoring in family and consumer science, Bogor Agricultural University. Being a student is one word that describes a lot of potential and expertise. However, for me, not only potential and expertise, but being a student is a gift in life. The struggle of thousands and even millions of people from various backgrounds just to get the word “ACCEPT” in the dream campus. I felt this way in 2019. It was a tough and precious year and an unforgettable history for me.

Fighting in the city of people as a child overseas is not as easy as the shadow in the mind. Fall and get up with the compulsion of a situation. Standing on your own feet is the best way to adapt. At that time, I was a child who had just finished high school education at one of the Islamic boarding schools in the province of Yogyakarta. The struggle started when I was declared not accepted to register through the SNMPTN route. Hearts ached after the announcement was announced in a room that was quite crowded. The SNMPTN path is the path that I have longed for since the beginning of entering this school, whatever the power of that decision cannot be disturbed or changed. Feeling empty and not knowing what to do in the future.

School with a boarding system and meet twenty-sevenths with the same people. They are my friends, most of whom passed to register through the SNMPTN route. When eating, before going to bed, even in the bathroom, they discuss about their dream campus. I can only be silent and only as a loyal listener. Feelings of pain and happiness as if can not be lied in this heart. Sometimes I want to stay away from all of them. Once I was walking with two of my friends. Then we met one of the teachers, he said to us “congratulations, you passed the SNMPN list, did you not pass?”. Your words that came out of the teacher’s mouth pointed at me. I painfully and warmly only answered with a simple smile.

Path after pathway to higher education has all been socialized and there is only one path that uses report cards, namely the SPAN-PTKIN path. I feel very excited about this path. However, fate could not lead me to enter college through this path. A technical error from the registration committee that made my name not included in the registration. Tears came out with a very unfair feeling. However, I am very lucky to live in a family that is very supportive of any decision and provides a way out and gives me the spirit to get back up.

The forms for all registration lines have been sent neatly and the exam has been carried out, just waiting for the graduation announcement. When the day came when the announcement of the college entrance exam was announced, there was not a single “ACCEPTED” statement. I was so dizzy and felt the stupidest at that moment. Inside I said “Am I this stupid? until none of the campuses accept me?”. Those words turned out to be just the words of a weak person who did not believe in such a beautiful destiny.

It was the determination, perseverance, courage and prayers of the people around me that led me to become a student at the Bogor Agricultural University. A campus that many people dream of and I am grateful to be a part of it. A dream that becomes a reality does not belong to those who only dream. But dreams that come true are those who are willing and able to sacrifice for the sake of a beautiful dream. I believe many people have dreams and few people are willing to sacrifice. So many of them are silent about their dreams. I am sure that what is ours will never be exchanged. Posing and being patient is a word that I use as a handle in living this mortal life.