“I can’t hear you. Can you speak louder?”

was something I would hear almost everyday whenever I speak but now, people tell me that – “I wish I could be as brave as you are! I could hear your passion and interest when you speak.”.

As a child, I would never do anything out of my own initiative and I would never express my feelings to others even if it is to my own parents. I keep everything to myself and mumbled softly to every conversations. Then, I would see kids who are active and brave and I told myself that I’ll never be like them because I’ll never have confidence over my own thoughts and speech.

Eventually, I would start blaming myself for not being brave enough and NO ONE would ever hear what I wanted to say because they can’t hear me. Then, one day, I stumbled upon this quote, “Fake it til you make it” and I can never be any more grateful – to learn about this.

My transformation journey started out during MCO when I was trapped in front of my computer screen for 2 years. One day, I woke up and told myself in the mirror that , I WILL put on a smile today and I WILL speak louder than anyone else so people will ALWAYS hear me. That day, I was the main character of my life – I would start up conversations with strangers, talk in front of the crowd, joined multiple workshops to speak to others and most importantly, I have never felt so happy about myself. I am no longer the shy and timid girl people labelled me as but, I am a brave and vibrant person now.

The pandemic may have made many people feel disconnected from others but for me, the online world is where I gained my confidence. At first, I would start applying for every possible societies and events there is in my University and eventually I met a lot of different people who inspired me to go further. I became the Event Lead for a club and I was the one responsible for the emcee role of every event hosted- through this, I overcame my nervousness in talking to the crowd.

The best part of speaking to others is – the feedbacks I receive. People would come and tell me that I did a great job even though I was slightly nervous at first and they really love my speaking. Never in my life, I would thought that I could get comments like these.

I wanted to go further.

I applied to a study jam workshop to become the mentor/tutor so that I can share my Computer Science knowledge with others. I went for interviews and got the position even with very little technical skills because the interviewers really like my vibrant energy when I speak.

Then, I went on to teach a few workshops and I wish to continue spreading my vibrant energy to others so, the most recent one was, I applied for a Club Lead for GDSC and had an interview with someone overseas – I got it! They elected me as the new Lead to my club and now, I have a lot of plans to further inspire people through my initiatives to come out different events and tech sharing workshops.

From a shy girl to a brave woman. I’ve really “Fake it til I make it” – acting to be brave has somehow became a trait to me because practice makes improvement. Now, I’ll never hear these words again – “I can’t hear you. Can you speak louder?”

My message to people is that, Please don’t be afraid to become who you want to be. Don’t be afraid to grab opportunities in life. Always believe in yourself and never leave any regret behind because, I would have regretted if I did not stand out for what I want – I’ll be missing out on so many things in life and so many possibilities in me.

Improvement is never always linear, there will be days when you feel like the world is crumbling down on you but, it’s alright. Because if you keep moving towards your goal, you will look back one day and see how far you’ve come.

I am always still improving and I want to continue further. This IS MY transformation story. What about yours?