Being dyslexic is never easy for me. I was told by my mother at the age of 18 that I have dyslexia. It was at the time when she cleaned up the store and found the appointment card with all the details. I was confused as I had never heard about dyslexia until I searched it up. All the struggles I have been through started to make sense. Why I said so? because half of the signs show in me, despite having just a mild degree of dyslexia. I started to overthink. Am I sick? Am I going to die soon? Hahaha, I was so stupid thinking that it was a disease or an illness, but it is actually a learning disability, which means that it cannot be cured, and I have to live with it forever. That makes it much more worst!
I feel like life is unfair. Because of dyslexia, I have to study ten times harder than my fellow friends due to slower learning systems. If a professor speeds up the teaching, I would be totally lost. Even with the recording lecture, I have to watch it either at a slower speed or replay it twice to understand the topic. On top of that, Language is my biggest weakness. I envy people who can learn a new language very fast while the English language itself took all my life to completely fluent. Imagine learning mandarin? I do be crying every minute. Besides slower learning systems, dyslexia also affects my speaking skills (talk slow), and writing (slow and ugly handwriting due to difficulty to control a pen or pencil).
As time goes by, I started to be grateful and accept the fact that I am not normal like everyone, and the fact that I have a disability (I’m not crying while typing this). It makes me stop comparing myself with others and be gentler with myself. It makes me work harder so that I can achieve what normal people can do, or much more than them. I learn more in-depth about dyslexia to understand myself better. I recognize my own weaknesses and force myself to keep improving and overcoming them with the advantages I have. For instance, I am grateful to have good lecturers and friends whom I can seek help with regarding the subjects. Never be shy to ask the lecturers about anything i might not understand, like one of my lecturers said, “there is no such thing as a stupid question”. I take as much time as I have to understand everything I learn. Procrastination might be tempting but putting more effort and the spirit of never giving up is what help me become better, from only 2A in SPM to 4flat in matric, and maintaining the momentum in my degree studies right now. I hope my story gives hope and motivation to whoever out there that might be struggling with their studies to keep moving for smooth sailing towards your dream. If I can, then you can too!