Low self-esteem is a disease. I have spent many years of low self-esteem. At that time, despite the usual giggling and heartlessness. But the darkness inside is bottomless!
When I was in junior high school, I just felt the ignorance of youth, and I also knew the importance of appearance. The class is often discussing which boys in the class like whom, or there are even boys in other classes who like the girls in our class. But those who seem to be the privilege of good-looking people have nothing to do with ordinary-looking people like me.
Although I was recognized by everyone for my appearance in high school, I was still inferior in my heart. In addition, my “not doing a proper job” caused my grades to plummet. Then I was miserable for a while because I kept thinking about why I should go to college and what’s the use of going to college? Because this question was very important to me, the idea at the time was to learn a technique without finishing the second year of high school. But the friends around me in the past were all excellent, and their grades were all very good. Basically, they were either in key high schools or key classes. Why are they so poor? A sense of inferiority came over him.
After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that it is very important to go to college, because in the future my friends will all go to college, and I am the only one who didn’t finish high school, wouldn’t it be embarrassing? The idea at the time was a bit naive, but the conclusion was correct.
When I join in university, but gradually I realized that there are really a lot of versatile people in the university. People like me, who are not very good in grades, know nothing, and have an introverted personality, just want to dig a hole, and get in.
I passed the first semester in a daze, and every day I went to class, eat, play, and slept very comfortably. But in the second semester I realized that I should regret spending four years in college like this, so I really wanted to prove myself and be good. Participating in the class election, although I stood on the podium, I was still incoherent. I participated in the student union election, the club election, and the etiquette team election. All were unsuccessful without exception. Even after so many things, you still feel lost, don’t you think? I feel like I can’t do anything, I can’t do the little things.
Although I didn’t get selected, I joined several clubs I wanted to join and wanted to improve my abilities. I pursued perfection, and the degree of pursuit of perfection was entirely caused by the inferiority complex that I was dissatisfied with. I live very tired every day, and sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing after a busy day.
There’s really a lot going on in college and I’m tired, but there are two things I’ve never given up on, exercise and reading. Exercise is because I want to have a good figure, but it has always been because of the wrong method. I read it because I felt that my literary literacy was not enough, and I even wrote a letter in a mess. In addition, I read the biography of my idol, Yu Minhong, and my experience of inferiority was similar to his. He read a lot of books during his four years in college. Inspired by him, I often go to the school library to borrow books.
Later, I figured it out, I really figured it out. I’ve always been unhappy and depressed because I’m always comparing my life with others. In fact, it’s enough to compare me with the previous self. A little progress is also a gain. Everyone has their own. The truth of existence is that you can’t become that enviable person, it’s good to be an ordinary person, as long as you are happy, everything is easy to say. And I am always pursuing the so-called excellence. In fact, there is no perfect person. I will live happily when I see my own shining points. For example, there are few people who have my own perseverance. Although I have no talent, I have always insisted on being myself. What you like, isn’t it good? For example, now I have a good figure that others envy, and I am super self-disciplined in life. Even after graduation, I still insist on reading, writing, and fitness habits. For example, I am really just an inconspicuous little person in our class. Not to get ahead of course, but just because I wanted to! Because I don’t pursue the so-called excellence and success in the eyes of others, I just want to do what I like and do my own thing well.
Besides, life is very short, especially youth is fleeting. If I am so unhappy all the time, I will regret it later. After I figured it out, I experienced unprecedented ease and happiness, and I have experienced so many things before. Now that I encounter setbacks, I will think that I will definitely solve it. Although I still have many shortcomings, I will obviously see more of my strengths. The current optimism, self-confidence and positivity is what I have spent ten years of experience and pain in exchange for. It is worth it for a lifetime of so long.